The BBC Farscape Message Board Fic
by Ennixeve
Summary: A message board fic written during the Christmas break. The crew, a planet, a battle, some nebari, some double crossing and the ever present wormhole tech. Please R & R.


Disclaimer: They're not ours, this is not for profit, please don't sue us, we just love the show.  
Rating: G  
Spoilers: None  
Setting: AU  
Author's Notes/ Summary: We (Eve, Claire, Dylan, Pippa, Livi and Dan) wrote this on the BBC Farscape message board when they cancelled it for two weeks after "IP:IA". We are not responsible for our actions! I have purposefully left in the typos and grammatical errors to show the true essence of the fic. It's a new genre of storytelling known as 'boredfic'. Enjoy! 

The BBC Farscape Message Board Fic

**BOOM**!!!! 

The explosion behind him shook the ground and threw John forward. He picked up the pace, struggling to breathe in the thick acrid smoke, and ran down the street, "have to make the rendezvous" he thought, as another mortar exploded nearby. Taking cover in an alley, he spotted a grey figure moving across the street, and hit his comms… (Eve)

'Chiana?' Chricton called, but there was no reply from the figure. John ran out, risking the bombs, to what presumably the Nebari. Blinking through the smoke, he tapped her on the shoulder. The figure turned around and cast a steely look in his direction. It wasn't Chiana. John backed off slightly and muttered an apology. The Nebari shook her head. 'No matter. Come with me...' (Claire)

"Are you, Calendra?" John aksed, his eyes stinging.   
The Nebari nodded. "Please, we have no time to waste!" She led him off the main thoroughfare into a dark, gloomy back alley. They came to what looked like a dead end, and the Nebari halted. She tapped a comm device on her wrist. As John watched, the wall before him dissolved.  (Dylan)

Inside the space which was now revealed were at least twenty other Nebari all crouching or trying in other ways to look invisible.   
"Well? Are you coming in or not?" hissed Calendra. "If you stand there you'll get us all killed!"   
John made up his mind and, quickly making some sort of bargain with what ever goddess was listening to stay alive at least until he saw Aeryn, stepped through into the gap. (Pippa)

John whistled approvingly as the wall melded back together and the sound of the bombs faded.   
'Some technology you've got here,' he admitted, 'i bet the Kwik-e-mart doesn't have that gadget in stock. Shame about the scenery.'   
'If you will sit down, John Chricton, we will begin.'   
The voice sounded familiar. Chricton tried to find the face in a dozen that he recognised. (Claire)

"Braca!" (Scorpy's mate)   
"Crichton." Lt. Braca nodded.   
John backed awaym but found his path impeded by a now solid wall. "What the frell's going on?" he demanded. His hand closed round the butt of Winona [pausing...now there's a thought..ahem].   
"Please, I mean you no harm," Braca insisted, leaving his own hands in obvious sight. "I come with a warning." (Dylan)

"A warning huh?" John mocked, " And why should i take a warning from you" Damn, John wished his stomach would stop turning over.   
"Well why shouldn't you?"   
"Oh do you want the whole list or the frelling pocket size version" sneered John.   
"Fine you needn't take my advice, but i warn i will say this just the once..." and then he stopped and fell and John stared helplessly at the twisted knife in his back then with a cold heart surveyed the empty room.   
"frell" he uttered quietly  (Livi)

At that moment Aeryn appeared through the same opening that Crichton himself had come through only moments before, followed closely by D'argo and Stark. 

"Right", Crichton said, addressing Calendra, "Will someone please tell me what is going on??" (Eve)

"We brought you here because we have important news to tell you" Calendra had an uneasy look on her face. "Scorpius has made a wormhole and has found a planet we believe to be your world. He is unstoppable uncontrollable. Only you know him well enough to stop him. We need your help." (Dan)

"Earth!" John blustered.   
"Yes," Calendra continued. "Braca was working for us. He was a double agent."   
"And who exactly are you?" D'Argo demanded.   
"We're Nebari Rebels."   
"So why'd you just kill Braca then?" Aeryn asked.   
"He was lying to us. Let that be a warning."   
"Now, everyone just hold up a microt. Lets get back to the wormholes and Earth," John interrupted. "where is he? I'll help you alright. Just point me in the right direction."  (Dylan)

"We need two things from you, firstly we need everything you know about wormholes and secondly we need you to kill Scorpius." Replied Calendra   
"What??!!" shouted Crichton "Look, I can help you with the first one, but killing Scorpius is another matter entirely, I've tried, believe me I've tried, but sometimes he just seems indestructible. Anyway, as well as I know him, he knows me, we have a somewhat bizarre relationship!"   
"We know of the neural clone in your brain John Crichton, this is why we know you can help us rid the universe of Scorpius."   
"Ok, so how do you plan to do that then" Crichton retorted. (Eve)

The Nabari laughed. "John, it's easy. You know how!"   
"Frell I do." John snorted   
"You have the technology, locked as I understand, and we have the key", the Nebari smiled serenely. "How?" put in Aeryn   
"That is of no importance, John, a ship wil arrive, it will take you to a place undectable by scans of anykind, there we will unlock the knowledge, but only there and you must promise one thing"   
"Urrrr, guys who says i'm going?" John mumbled   
"Remember John it's up to you, you're the key" (Livi)

Author's Notes (cont): Yes, we know it ends rather suddenly, and in fact there is no ending to speak of, but the other folks on the board got slightly frelled off about the whole ficcing business and in the interests of the safety of certain board members, and in order to keep the peace, we had to stop. I will endeavour to round up the people who took part in this fic and try to put an ending/sequel together, if this gets enough reviews and if you want to see more of this kind of madness. Season 3 has now finished for us beeb viewers, so we have plenty of boredom to put to good use. 

Thanks to Minh as always for providing the Summary and beta-ing the Author's notes. She is a star, and continues to put up with my appalling spelling and grammar. Without her, this wouldn't be here :)


End file.
